Stockholm Syndrome
by love at third sight
Summary: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villian. Soyo x Takasugi.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: It's pretty unfinished.

* * *

**Stockholm Syndrome**

_How can I decide what's right?_  
_When you're clouding up my mind_  
_I can't win your losing fight_  
_All the time_

_No can I ever own what's mine_  
_When you're always taking sides_  
_But you won't take away my pride_  
_No, not this time_  
_Not this time_

- Paramore, "Decode"

* * *

**i.**

A story, in a few short sentences:

A spaceship destroys the palace that she and Shigeshige once lived in. The flames flicker to a grungy smoke that smarts her eyes as Nobume escorts her down to the ground, tears swallowed by the lump that overwhelms any aches in her legs and arms.

There are only a few minutes before the spaceship, full of artillery and deadly efficiency, moves on to the Amanto embassies, while two other smaller ships fly directly to the Edo Terminal and drop bombs for each terminal.

The news report estimates that a few hundred thousand people are dead. The Shinsengumi issue an emergency evacuation notice; the remaining civilians try to escape.

But it is futile. All over Japan - in Choshu, Kyoto, in the mid-sized cities - there's been a general state of alarm. Out of nowhere, the rampage is very well organized, very immune to any sort of defense.

Rumors collect - the end of the world, some say.

On top of the Kiheitai's spaceship, Takasugi allows himself one indulgent smile.

* * *

**ii.**

Tokugawa Soyo writes him a letter from the bomb shelters, asking him on behalf of the people to stop the raids. It's no use, someone said, but she stamps the latter anyway with her royal seal.

He responds her by arresting and detaining her. Nobume escorts Soyo, for she is on the side of the Mimawarigumi, who has pledged their loyalty before the fruit of destruction came forward.

Takasugi Shinsuke is shorter than she expects. Nobume unties her blindfold and Soyo blinks once before resuming her cool, collected facade.

The fate of her country doesn't rest on her shoulders, but her brother has deemed himself helpless, unable to do anything for his people. Soyo is the one who decides to take action, because she understands intimately that her position means nothing save for a nostalgic symbol that now has been rendered irrelevant.

The man responsible for the destruction of a world is sitting next to the windowsill, plucking a sad lonely song on a shamisen. The cool wind blows into the room, spartan in decor save for a lacquered tray with two bottles of warm sake sitting in the night air.

He is handsome - delicately so in a way that she can't explain, with his slender frame and inky black hair.

The song ends and he turns his head to fixate his one eye on her. She nearly gasps, for there is something intense and painful about him, but then she remembers this is no place for a girl her age to be.

She came dressed in nothing more elaborate than a commoner's kimono, with beige and gray patterns, and it feels forced - as if he can see past the facade. From the day she was born, it'd been hammered into her head that she belonged to higher places. Destined, indeed, to wed into nobler families, destined to be trapped into a tower that was built on the blood of innocent people...

_You've set me free, only to be imprisoned once more._

He places his pipe in his mouth, inhales-exhales-releases. The smoke fades quickly, like memories of a happier dream.

"How old are you?" he finally asks, and his voice is strangely beautiful, low and hypnotic.

"Sixteen," Soyo says.

"I see." His eye flickers expectantly. "I usually don't meet girls your age," he says, and his laugh sends a shiver down her spine. "Especially not the Princess of Japan."

"That title means nothing now," the girl said, eyes lowered to the ground.

"You're right, it doesn't. Never has."

He pours her a cup of sake and smiles at her the way conquerors do at the oppressed. "Drink," he says, and she lifts the cup to her mouth.

It occurs to her that he might have poisoned the sake as well but it is too late. The warm buzz hits the back of her throat.

She waits, anxiously, for more side effects. But there are none - Takasugi himself is pouring a drink and he sips it delicately rather than all at once.

"Why did you write the letter?"

"I just wanted to know why you would wish destruction. I have many people dear to me who live in Edo."

"Retribution," he said evenly. "Do you understand any of that?"

"No."

It's over. The world is destroyed and he's accomplished everything that he wants to achieve. What else is left?

"I came to offer my hand in marriage and the seat of the Shogun if you stop the destruction," she said, her green eyes as turbulent as a storm.

"And what if I refuse?"

"Then I shall resign and wait until you kill me."

"A position of nobility doesn't interest me, Princess. Neither does martyrdom suit you."

"Aren't you satisfied yet? Millions are dead." Her tone is bitter. "Aren't you happy?"

"You're in no position to decide whether I am satisfied or not," he said, and he leans towards her and grips her chin with surprising firmness.

"The only thing keeping you alive right now is that you're too young to understand _anything_," Takasugi said, with a savage vindictiveness that is terrifying and stunning at the same time. She stops breathing.

He let her go abruptly. "Leave now," he commands. Soyo murmurs a formal goodbye and Nobume carries her away to her cell.

* * *

**iii.**

"I think I made him angry," she said to Bansai, who visits her prison cell once every so often. In her spare time (which is copious), she writes Takasugi letters, always asking him to stop destroying the livelihoods of so many citizens, even though it is futile. She is but a simple girl. He is a well calculated machine of algorithms and an unquenchable thirst of revenge. The kindness of Soyo is outweighed substantially by his cruelty.

"Shinsuke never really stops being angry," he says. "If he did, we wouldn't have gotten this far."

Down below the sky there are constant bombings and raids. She tries not to cry at it all, tries not to wonder what happened to Kagura and all those wonderful people down below that haven't been arrested or detained.

"How did you meet him?"

"Same as everyone else. He comes to you if he can be bothered."

None of her letters instigate a reply from Takasugi, so she sends him a poem out of boredom.

_Though I go to you _  
_ceaselessly along dream paths, _  
_the sum of those trysts _  
_is less than a single glimpse _  
_granted in the waking world._

In less than a day he sends back a reply.

_Our life in this world - _  
_to what shall I compare it? _  
_It is like an echo _  
_resounding through the mountains _  
_and off into the empty sky._

She reads the letter and puts it away. A minute later she reads it again.

Takasugi Shinsuke's handwriting is neat and elegant. A symptom of a psychopath, she decides promptly, and folds the letter in eighths and keeps it in her pocket like some odd good luck charm. She imagined that once upon a time, he held a beautiful soul, but had gone corrupt, rotten - spoiled in a way.

Soyo shook her head - was she truly romanticizing such a man? This man, who had destroyed thousand-year-old temples, innocent people and homes, and the livelihoods of the citizens?

She can feel her mind decaying in a place like this. Everyone ogles at her like a zoo animal. The slip of paper reminds her there is a semblance of normality in the twisted cage that she lives in, no matter how insane Takasugi may appear to be.

* * *

**iv.**

Her next visitor is Kijima, a blond surly example of a girl on the spaceship. She's brash, a little rude, and tough. Not unlike Kagura.

"You better watch your back, Princess," she spits out with half a smirk at the same time. "You can try to seduce Shinsuke-sama all you want, but it won't work. I've tried for years."

"I - I never intended to," Soyo stutters, embarrassed. "Besides, I'm in prison. What can I do?"

"Don't you tempt him into thinking that he'll surrender on your terms. Because that won't happen. Me and Shinsuke, we've gone back for years." Her hand cocks arrogantly on her side, but beyond that, there's a radiance and confidence to be admired.

"I wish I were you," Soyo admits.

Kijima is so unused to the gentility of female company, and thusly taken aback. "I - ! It's been a long time since anyone's told me something like that."

"Well it's true," Soyo says. "I can't even walk around here freely. I'm was a prisoner then and now, only in different cages."

"Man, and here I thought it'd be rad to be a princess. Don't you noblewomen get to eat foie gras every day back when you lived in that palace?"

"No, not exactly... Though I don't even like foie gras."

"Spoken as a true noble!" Kijima laughs and suddenly the world is less lonely with two girls on the spaceship. "Speaking of which, why are you on this ship?"

"Nobume-san arrested me," Soyo said. She is still a little heartbroken over that betrayal.

"Oh I see." Kijima looks at her thoughtfully. "Y'know, Shinsuke-sama killed your uncle. Did anyone else tell you?"

" ... He deserved it," Soyo said, after taking it in. "He cut off the arms of my caretaker."

"_Wow_, no one told me you were a sadist, Princess." Kijima eyed the girl more cautiously now. "Maybe Shinsuke was right to lock you up."

"Don't be silly," Soyo said. "Everyone here - they're much tougher. Stronger. What can a someone like me do?"

There's a thoughtfulness in Kijima's eyes that betray her cause. Meeting Soyo has made her ambiguous - she isn't the enemy of Kiheitai, whose orders are to slaughter all compatriots and allies of the Bakufu. Neither is she entirely sheltered, she has accepted defeat and is compliant to all of the orders on ship.

If anyone had told her that the young woman before her was the sister of the Shogun, Kijima wouldn't have believed them. She wore regular clothes and her hair was a little unkempt with nothing to show that she was of noble blood.

"Hey - " and here, Soyo seemed a little embarrassed, " - Do you think I could get a shower? I figure since you were a girl, you'd know the better places..."

Her cell had a bathroom and a sink but not much in the way of body cleansing.

"Let me ask him about it," Kijima said. "I know there are other cells that are a bit more... well, luxurious."

The next day the blonde girl handcuffs Soyo and leads her to a higher cabin in the spaceship.

"We usually save these rooms for Amanto businessmen," the blond says. "You've been behaving pretty well, so he shrugged me off and said I could do whatever."

"I appreciate that, Kijima-san."

"Call me Matako," the woman said, flashing her an impish grin.

"O - Okay, Matako." The only other people she's called by their first name was her brother, Maizou, and Kagura - and there is a sudden warmth in her chest that conveniently ignores the fact that Kijima Matako faithfully serves a man Soyo has every reason to hate.

The room has carpet, a nice window to look at the stars outside, and a soft futon made of goose feathers. It's not anywhere nice as the bedroom she used to have, but that past is long gone.

"I'll be locking the door," Matako said, after unlocking the cuffs from Soyo's wrists. "There's a button next to your bed - if you need anything, someone will get it for you provided you're not asking for machine guns or anything to kill yourself."

"Make no mistake though," the woman added. "You screw up in anyway, you're going down to the dungeons. And trust me, you _really_ don't wanna be in the company of filthy, dirty aliens."

Soyo nodded. The door clicked with a jiggle to signal the lock.

So, a new upgrade, new freedom. It feels like she'll be here forever, but as long as they keep bringing her books to read and more paper to write on, she won't die of boredom if people keep visiting her.

She bites on her fountain pen, and decides to write another letter to Takasugi to thank him.

* * *

**v.**

Shinsuke still hasn't killed her - whether it's out of amusement or plans to use Soyo as a hostage, he doesn't know.

"That girl is too kind," Bansai mused as he slit open the letter. For weeks now, he's been reading them and discarding the ones that he knows Shinsuke will react badly to; Tokugawa Soyo is a brave soul for attempting to engage in contact with someone who has imprisoned her. So far, the poem is the only one he's felt is fine to send to the commander. A poem was harmless enough; in fact Shinsuke was so amused that upon receiving it had quoted another poet.

"So the little girl is well-educated," he said, removing the pipe from his mouth and chuckling softly. "She's in the wrong place here..."

Her melody was sweet and lovely, like one would expect of a princess. The girl was passionate about saving her country the way that Takasugi Shinsuke was about destroying it.

If Bansai hadn't met Shinsuke first, he wouldn't have minded being her vessel, despite the complacency of a rotten nation. She was idealistic and naive, with too much faith in people. She still wrote letters asking Shinsuke to spare the mountains and the valleys of Japan.

_Now, how does a sheltered girl like that even know the existence of such places?_ he wondered. They hadn't finished the raid on Choshu yet, as there were some factions that had put up a strong resistance, but still...

It was common knowledge that the people of Edo loved the girl, most of all the Shogun who held affection for his little sister. And now he could see why, with her good-hearted naivety. Tokugawa Soyo was special, so beautifully rare.

On a ship full of cynics, debauchery, and good-for-nothings, she still hasn't seen things that make men like him and Shinsuke turn their backs on the world. Still doesn't understand why they want to see the world burn.

He read the latest letter. It is a letter of appreciation, for Takasugi had allowed more or less for her to move into a room that isn't a prison cell anymore.

Bansai doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

* * *

**vi.**

"Henpeita-san, will you indulge a girl and tell me why Takasugi wants to destroy the world?"

"My dear, you are too old for my taste," he says but it isn't without malice or anything hostile. "Though you are very lovely. Very, very lovely."

The girl beams as if she has been handed a million dollars. "Will you tell me more if I add "-sama" to the end of your name?"

"As a matter of fact I will," he said, and he unlocked her door. "Don't worry, I'm not a barbarian, just a feminist."

Soyo laughed. "If you say so, Henpeita-sama."

She offered him a chair while she sat on the bed.

"My dear, there are simply things in this world that I and Takasugi - alongside with the Kiheitai - would like to change."

"Such as ...?"

"Personally, I would have liked to have rebuilt Japan from scratch, but it doesn't seem likely these days." The man sighed. "Takasugi is a good man, though his fiery rage causes him to obliterate things that he considers inferior of his interest."

Soyo was intelligent enough to keep her mouth shut regarding Takasugi, so she did.

Instead she decided to change tactics. "Henpeita-sama, is not changing the world in a more humane way more noble and befitting of a samurai?"

"My dear, that wouldn't change anything."

"You wouldn't know that - "

"Tokugawa-san."

"Forgive my transgression," she said softly.

"No offense taken," the older man said, though both of them knew this was simply said for cordiality.

Uneasily, he began to speak again. "I was one of the very few who disagreed with the way that the Amanto took over Edo. Unfortunately, the men under Sadasada's command decided to wipe out those who shared my ideology. I suppose they don't teach you things like the Kansai Purge, do they..."

"No," said Soyo, eyes widening. "Not at all."

"You were barely alive back then. I shouldn't blame this on you so much as your uncle but... I can't say the same for - "

"Takechi." A cold and irritable voice interrupted their conversation. "What did I tell you about fraternizing with the prisoners?"

To her silent horror Takasugi Shinsuke stood outside her door.

"My apologies," Henpeita said, though his expression clearly said he was not sorry at all. "'Til next time, I suppose."

He quickly trotted out of Soyo's room, and got away before any more trouble could come before the two of them. Soyo wasn't sure of what to say to Takasugi that would pardon Henpeita.

Turned out she didn't need to. "You were foolish to allow him to enter your room," he said.

"H-he said I was too old for him."

"And you believed him?"

"Yes."

He snorted. "You really are as naive as the rumors go."

"I suppose so... but I don't think that's a bad thing.

"Oh?"

"Yes. I think the unhappiest people in the world at the ones who know the most."

There was a moment when he breathed out smoke, a pungent but oddly appealing smell for Soyo, who rarely smelled anything other than the incense burned in her room.

"There is a certain beauty in knowing the abyss," he said finally. His sole eye locked onto hers and she swallowed nervously. Would this be the day she angered him once more?

Her fears were unfounded, again. "Have a good night, Princess."

"Good night," she said.

She can still feel the ghost of his hand gripping her cheek. He is volatile, this man. One moment she can believe that he wants to kill her, to rejoice over her dead body, and another moment she can see that he is simply another man.

_Takasugi Shinsuke, exactly what kind of person are you?_

* * *

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: If Gintama can make a chapter about aliens losing a clock in time travel, I don't think it's a stretch for me to have mind-reading aliens.

* * *

_Hello again, friend of a friend,_  
_I knew you when_  
_Our common goal was waiting for  
__the world to end_

_Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend_  
_You crack the whip, shape shift and trick  
the past again__  
_

- Metric, "Black Sheep"

* * *

**vii.**

He's never slept with her. Now, that's a fact that nobody else on this spaceship knows for sure, since the easy way of thinking is to assume the only woman on ship is there as a prostitute. So Matako doesn't say anything, really, rumors are rumors and that's how the world runs. Besides, she'd sleep with him for no charge. Money doesn't mean anything; she can get as many guns or clothes or whatever she wants, but being with Takasugi Shinsuke is like a drug.

Regardless of whether he understands that she knows there is no way for them to be together, it still dazzles her utterly that this serious man lets her cling to his arm, fangirl all she wants, and he won't kill her no matter how ruthless he is. She doesn't mind that she's only viewed as a tool; she shoots all his minor enemies down and at the end of the day that's what matters. He has an assassin who adores and won't ever leave him.

And as for her, she gets to see Shinsuke as less than the commander, for him to curl up lazily next to her when he's issuing commands, and she almost can believe that she's Cleopatra for a moment. Almost being the key word.

When he finally goes away, it is all again a subordinate relationship once more, as if it never happened. But Matako knows better.

She'll be sorry when the world truly ends, but at least it'll be one hell of a ride.

* * *

**viii.**

In secret Soyo writes letters to her brother, though she never sends them off. Why would she? She knows that the Bakufu is the enemy on this ship. She's only alive because she symbolizes the success of the Kiheitai. The fact of the matter was, she's nothing like Kagura, who can storm through anything with brash words and her trusty umbrella gun.

No, Tokugawa Soyo was just a girl placed in extraordinary circumstances. That makes her more sad than it should.

She was sixteen but felt like a hundred years old; she has lived two lives. Sneaking out of the castle had felt like a rebellion, and she'd been truly happy to make a friend in Edo. But it'd been a temporary paradise. Now she'd been thrust into a never ending hell of uncertainty.

Home wasn't this ship. Even though the people she had met were beautiful in their own way, it was nothing compared to Earth. Home wasn't this room she had woken up to day after day, stars twinkling as if time never passed by.

No, _home_ was Rotten Maizou lecturing her on the business of being ladylike. _Home_ was her brother playing shogi with her and letting her win, _home_ was Nobume listening to her bedroom stories of fairy tale princesses and knights in shining armor rescuing them from fiery dragons. _Home_ was the taste of sukonbu bought from the convenience store, and the view of Edo from the high tower. _Home_ was the Shinsengumi who rescued her time and time again, even when she ran away from the palace in order to see more of what was outside her world.

Yet...

Her home was gone. It was over, that story of promises and freedom. It was time to face reality.

She was a princess, but had naught a happy ending.

* * *

**ix.**

Soyo woke up to seeing the decapitated head of her brother broadcast on the galaxy news channel. She screamed, waking up several Kiheitai officers, who came bursting in.

"What the hell is going on here?" Matako demanded, two pistols pointed at Soyo. Weeping, Soyo pointed at the television screen.

"Holy shit," she said.

"Who did this?" Soyo asked, her heart afraid for the news. She had never felt so disturbed in her life, as if the walls were caving in around her.

"The Tendoshu, I daresay," Bansai remarked, sheathing his sword. He turned to Soyo. "My condolences."

"H-he w-w-was p-part of the Bakufu - " she heaved, as it seemed it was getting harder to breath each passing moment. "H-how dare you give me your condolences..." She kneeled on the floor, overwhelmed with shock.

"Nevertheless, he was your brother, and for that I am sorry," he said, reaching for the remote and turning the machine off. "Come, Matako. We've got a lot of work to do."

"Okay," the blonde said, casting a worried look at Soyo.

Soyo felt like everything had became too permanently real. Suddenly the room felt suffocating, as if the air had gone out and there was nothing left to live for.

Trembling, she buried her head into her pillow, allowing her tears to seep through.

Her brother was gone; the only family she had left in this godforsaken world. _No one_! No one to come back to, no one who was wholesome and pure like her brother, who had only wanted to stop the destruction cast upon the people of his country.

_The Shogun is dead! Long live destruction!_ the crowd outside her window cheers. After a minute of this torture, she locked herself into the bathroom and vomits the remains of her dinner.

* * *

**x.**

Curiously, Soyo felt no urge to pursue vengeance. The hole in her stomach reminded her that the wound was too raw to allow anger to seep through. Anger flickered dimly before it was washed away with despair.

With her third meeting with Takasugi, she dressed in a kimono of pure white silk. Matako had taken a long look at Soyo before reluctantly handing it to her. Orders were orders, and it had been ordained by Henpeita that the girl was to be allowed whatever she so desired without causing inconvenience to the ship. Her hair was neatly combed and she had tied it back with a red ribbon.

Now sitting in his room once more, she squared her shoulders tightly and looked up firmly.

"Please kill me, Takasugi-san."

"I thought that you would wait for me to kill you, but I didn't expect for this to be so soon," he said. His back was turned to her as she sat on her legs in an upright manner. The pungent smell of smoke filled her nostrils.

"There's no point for me to be alive," she said curtly. _I would like to prevent people from attempting to save me._

"Have you considered retribution? You could join my cause."

"Never." Her eyes were lowered to the ground, and still she struggled to keep her voice free from emotion. "I would kill myself before subjecting anyone else to this."

To her dismay Takasugi did not even retaliate. He was calm. And yet a part of her hoped that he would put her out of her pain and misery.

"I was your age when I suffered such a pain."

"Don't pretend to sympathize when Shigeshige was your biggest enemy," Soyo said coldly. "I knew you were the one who tried to kill him at that festival four years ago."

The other man laughed. "I cannot deny the truth in your words. But, is not the enemy of my enemy my friend?"

"The Amanto are our allies," Soyo said fiercely. She thinks of Kagura, with her electric eyes and the taste of sukonbu in her mouth.

"The Amanto murdered your brother." Takasugi pointed out. He still hadn't turned his back.

"Like people, there are good and bad. They are no exception."

She won't let someone like Takasugi cloud the goodness of people just because somebody has wronged her. The sin of death doesn't taint everybody, she repeats to herself like a mantra.

"Who is to say that even good people deserve to live?" he asked. "Wouldn't it be easier... if we got rid of everybody?"

"That is a coward's way of thinking," Soyo said defiantly.

As soon as the words had escaped from her mouth, she knew that her fate was sealed. No one to the best of her knowledge escaped Takasugi Shinsuke with words of a challenging nature. Not unless they were extraordinarily strong or clever.

"A coward?" he asked, his voice soft and ever so dangerous. "What do you know of me, to call the person that I am a coward?"

She waited with bated breath.

"While _you_ spent your life in a castle, the brigand of samurai that I belonged to were left to die by the hands of _your_ family."

He no longer looked at Soyo anymore.

"This country deserves a grand finale," he said. "And I'm going to give it to them."

He slashed his sword so quick that she could have sworn only the wind blew from the deck. Her long hair was gone, cut so that the remnants lay at her feet.

* * *

**xi.**

Bansai knew, finally, the game that Takasugi Shinsuke was playing. He was slowly torturing Soyo because she was good and just, and killing her would be too easy.

Killing Tokuguwa Soyo would only prove that he was merciful, a quality that Shinsuke abhorred in all his subordinates. Shinsuke had slaughtered Sadasada because he had found dark humor in the act; Soyo, on the other hand had already elevated herself from the scum of people who had betrayed the Joui. Her only sin was to be related to the royal bloodline, a fault that even Shinsuke could not find problematic. Being born into the wrong family with the guilt of association was not anything new to the man.

Another reason, Bansai suspected, was because Shinsuke might have been resentful. The grief that he had been cursed with had never truly faded with time. Yet this girl, half his age, was able to put aside vengeance in lieu of forgiveness, even with the burden of sadness and despair.

Her eyes were like the sun. They shone brilliantly without caving into another beast of revenge.

For that, he had to respect that. Lesser men had begged for their lives, but unlike them the princess had already accepted the possibility of death and had made amends to die with dignity. A true noble, indeed.

That night he had confronted Takasugi. "We should let her go."

"Are you turning soft, Bansai? Or have you forgotten our aim to destroy this complacent nation from within?"

"She may turn our men against us," he rationalized. "Too many of them are beginning to listen to her, I daresay. She's a powerful influence. You'd better kill her now."

"Don't be silly. Matako may be charmed with her, but as for everybody else, I doubt she holds such power."

"Shinsuke - "

"Are you doubting my orders?"

"No."

"You're dismissed, then."

This time Bansai walked backwards to ensure that Shinsuke would not swing his sword at his back. You could never be so sure with people like him.

His mind was conflicted. It had occurred to him once again how incredibly _young _Soyo was, even though she held an intelligence that could rival any of Takasugi's best officers.

Truthfully, he couldn't admit that she was the enemy, no matter what his superior felt.

* * *

**xii.**

"You'll be sitting here today," Matako said gravely, as she led Soyo by handcuffs. "I'm also instructed to inject this into you."

Soyo sat into the chair obediently, while the blonde strapped her wrists securely. "What will it do to me?" she asked, even though knowing that it had a good chance of hurting her.

"I can't risk losing my job over telling you," Matako said, effectively dodging the question.

With a precision unlike what she had expected from a gun-toting maniac like Matako, the girl squeezed the syringe into Soyo's arm.

"Night night, Princess," the blonde said. Soyo closed her eyes, frozen with dread.

A minute later, Bansai came into the door, swiping his card for access. "I came to check if things went well."

The two of them looked at the sleeping princess, head lolled to one side as she breathed peacefully. Matako sighed once more.

"Amanto technology is dangerous, isn't it, Bansai-senpai?"

"That it is," he agreed. "I never liked these mental torture devices, but they were instrumental in keeping Kiheitai's men loyal."

"Still. I don't like this. If it weren't for Shinsuke-sama ordering this I wouldn't have wanted this for her."

"It was unfortunate," Bansai agreed once more, his voice low as well.

Ten hours of psychological torture. _Will she make it through?_ they both wondered.

* * *

**xiii.**

"Wake up," someone said, pouring ice cold water at her face. Soyo coughed, as she blearily opened her eyes.

"Where... where am I?"

"You're in someone else's memories." To her great surprise, Soyo found a girl who looked suspiciously like her standing directly in front of her.

No - scratch that. The girl was every part of Soyo's twin, if one existed in reality.

"They were supposed to inject the serum that would inflict ten hours' worth of your worst fear into your brain. But they got it all mixed up."

"H-how do you even know this?"

"I'm the mind regulator, of course. The Kiheitai found that mental control was far superior than physical threat. But they wanted to preserve their most talented forces, so there had to be a limit before the victim was beyond repair."

"Regulator? Do you simply exist in my head?"

"Me?" The girl laughed. "Don't be silly. I work for the Kiheitai, just like Matako-kun. I use the mind as a medium, just as much as you use the physical space of Earth to move. I only look like you because I didn't want your brain to freak out, especially when there's an invasion of mind. It'd be very inconvenient, you know."

Suddenly Soyo found herself facing an identical version of herself wielding a sword. "Sadly, our encounter will soon have to end. I must terminate you before the situation gets out of control."

"Wait! Can't we talk this out? Please, um, Regulator-san..."

"I don't know if you're an ally or not, but clearly you've been on the wrong side of the Kiheitai."

Soyo put her hands up. "I called Takasugi-san a coward. That was my crime. I had intended to die honorably by his hands, but he had sent me to this punishment instead."

The Regulator frowned, but to Soyo's relief she had put down her sword. "Hmm, from the glances of your mind I can see that you're not lying."

Soyo sighed, grateful that nothing bad had happened just yet.

"... I also don't agree with his punishment of ten hours. One or two would have been enough, especially for someone like you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that for a civilian, it's overkill for anyone to inflict that much mental turmoil on you. I don't approve of what Takasugi does sometimes, and he doesn't like me either, but because I'm the best of the best he tolerates what I do."

"So you're saying that because he can't control you, he doesn't like you?"

"Well, yes, but I'm also an Amanto. I come from a planet where we regularly share our minds and our thoughts. I just happen to be able to modify it for humans."

"You don't support the killing of humans, do you?"

At this the Regulator shrugged. "Most of the time, I'm only concerned is whether Takasugi pays me well. And he does." She smiled devilishly. "But that doesn't mean I can't break the rules sometime. Usually I kill off people who don't overtly support the Kiheitai, but you don't look like you'd spill the beans if I let you go, right?"

Soyo shook her head vigorously. "I will defend your secret to the grave, Regulator-san!"

"Don't put so much stock in your promises, Princess. I only let you go because you look harmless enough, and also because Matako bungled up again," the girl said. "After all this, I can't torture you without the right serum."

"Even so, thank you, Regulator-san."

"The drug is saying we need to move on. Let's go, Tokugawa-san."

They walked through a meadow of soft grass and golden wheat. Gingko leaves fluttered gently in the wind.

"Ah, I think I know where we are..." her companion said softly.

"You do?"

The sky suddenly turned stormy. The Regulator pulled out an umbrella and allowed Soyo to remain close so they were sheltered from the rain.

"You said we were in someone else's memory, Regulator-san?"

"Ah yes. I wasn't supposed to see this at all, but Takasugi made a crucial mistake when he linked his mind to mine. He wanted to know whether he could trust Kawakimi Bansai, but inadvertently, he allowed me a glimpse of his mind."

Soyo could see a group of boys running towards a hill. The Regulator began to run as well. "We must follow them," she urged Soyo, and the two of them rushed to get a glimpse of the boys.

There were three in question, one with a black ponytail, another with a perm head of silver curls. The last boy with his pine green eyes made Soyo stop in surprise.

"We're in Takasugi's memories!" she cried out, shocked.

"Of course we are, didn't I tell you that already?" the Regulator said impatiently, still running. "Hurry up!"

The two girls followed the boys for a good while before they ended up in a small building that smelled of books and scrolls. It was a temple school, Soyo realized dazedly. She had never been to one, having been educated by private tutors all her life.

A man stepped out to greet the boys, offering them clean towels. Soyo knew that the man could not see her, but she was still a little shy about coming into the school. The Regulator barged right in, not even bothering to take off her shoes.

"Sensei, I saw this thing in the sky!"

"Did you now," the man said kindly, escorting the boys into the building. "Gintoki, next time you must remember to take an umbrella with you."

"Yes, sensei."

Soyo blinked once again. _Gintoki? Surely not the man who was part of Kagura's family?_ she thought, astonished. But that head of curly silver hair was unmistakable. Yes, it was Gintoki in the flesh, or more accurately, memory.

"You see?" the boy with long hair said. "Sensei didn't take you seriously at all."

"Shut up, Zura! You're just jealous because you missed it."

Nearby a young Takasugi chuckled. "What is this, a contest? We've been seeing things in the sky for ages."

"Yes, Shinsuke, you are right. The Amanto have been here for quite some time now," the man said approvingly. Takasugi seemed to bask in the glow of the man's praise, and even more so when the man patted his head affectionately.

It was then that the Regulator touched Soyo's hand. The scene deconstructed into white once more.

* * *

To be continued...

As always please review.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: This is turning to be longer than expected.

There is a plot hole in this chapter - Takasugi's memories also include memories he hasn't been conscious of remembering. But I wanted to depict Gintoki and Katsura for the kinder, less ruthless characters that they are.

Kamui will probably make a cameo next chapter.

* * *

_Is this gonna be our end?_  
_I can feel the light_  
_Somewhere in the darkness_  
_I'll follow you_

_I saw the sign of rust_  
_And I read your name_  
_Heard it fade into the past where_  
_I'll follow you_

- Nero, "Into The Past"

* * *

**xiv.**

"You've seen all of this before, haven't you Regulator-san?"

"Mm... well, truth be told, no. I don't really care for delving into others' memories, especially not the person who pays me. That'd be unfair collateral if they'd found out. I have the stories, so to speak, but I don't go out of my way to read them."

The Regulator stroked her chin thoughtfully. "We still have to keep up the illusion that you're under a spell for ten hours. Tokugawa-san - "

"Please, call me Soyo."

"Very well. Soyo, we'll have to go through ten hours of Takasugi's memories. Keep in mind that someone could wake you up at any moment, though from the looks of it, that'll be unlikely."

"Oh, they won't rescue me," the princess said, mildly undisturbed by this turn of events. "I'm the Shogun's sister. They won't forgive me for insulting Takasugi."

Truthfully, Soyo was intrigued by the accidental transgression into his mind. Deep down, she was aware that this was a privilege that not even his closest subordinates were privy to. From her limited observations, Takasugi was a private man who held few if any friends.

Shamefully, she admitted that she was interested in the psychology of his mind, though another part of her was conscious that he was... Well, perhaps that was the main question.

He was evil, she thought, but neither did he lack the ability to accomplish good. He was lurking in between phases, the indefinable edge between insanity and genius. Soyo wasn't fool enough to pretend that her family, who had held the imperialist throne for centuries, were completely innocent. Selling out their country had been necessary for the survival of the Japanese, but had incurred bloody costs in the process. Though her studies through history had been highly edited to paint a favorable picture of the past Shoguns, Soyo knew better. Talking to the _ronin_ of Edo had been enough for her to see a different picture.

The white was seeping out of the ground she stood on, interrupting her quiet musings. "Where are we going now?" Soyo asked the Regulator.

"I don't know," she admitted. "Human beings remember a lot of mundane things, so we could be trapped in a continual loop of his childhood."

Soyo smiled. "That wouldn't be so bad." She remembered the warmth of Takasugi's smile as he looked at his teacher.

"But judging from the way he's destroyed Japan, I doubt that he dwells on his happy childhood."

"You think he had a happy childhood?"

"So far, I think so."

A thick blanket of snow materialized in front of them, and Soyo shivered. She had worn nothing but a cotton yukata.

"Oi, Zura!" A teenaged Gintoki walked up to a group of boys once more who seemed to be stealthily engaged in a snowball fight. "I challenge you to a duel!"

"Samurai don't engage in snowball duels!" Katsura said fiercely. He threw a snowball at Gintoki, yelling "It's not Zura, it's Katsura!"

Takasugi, strangely enough, materialized next to Soyo. They were the same height, she realized with a shock.

He smirked. "Idiots, the both of them," he muttered and began to form snowballs quickly, hiding behind a small hill that obscured his figure.

Gintoki and Katsura stopped their argument to listen in on potential movements. "Where was that shorty?" Gintoki whispered to Katsura.

"Must be hiding somewhere," Katsura said. The two of them were wearing woolen haoris that allowed them quick movement but still afforded them a warmth in the cold.

Next to her, Takasugi let a snowball fly, hitting Gintoki squarely in the shoulder.

"He's over there!" he roared, charging straight at Takasugi. "Let's get him, Zura!"

And in a decidedly un-samurai fashion, Gintoki tackled Takasugi to the ground, smushing snow into the other boy's face.

* * *

**xv.**

The next moment took place in the temple school, where Shinsuke - around the age of twelve, Soyo estimated - rose up from his bed, visibly horrified judging from his expression.

"Sensei?" he asked, sliding open a door. The man that she had seen in an earlier memory was reading a novel under the dim light of an oil lantern.

"Yes? What is it, Shinsuke?"

"I - I had a bad dream."

The man closed his book and beckoned the boy to come closer. "Tell me about it."

"They... they were going to kill you."

"Who?"

"I don't know. I don't - I don't remember."

The man took Takasugi's hand. "Shinsuke, I won't leave you. Not so easily like that."

"You promise?"

The man extended his pinky finger. "I promise."

* * *

**xvi.**

Soyo could smell smoke this time, and could feel the searing heat all the way to her fingers. She took care to walk away from the inferno that engulfed the area not too far away from her.

Coughing a little, she had reached a place that was far away from the smoke that stung her eyes. Gintoki was there, tied up in ropes, with a look of desolation in his eyes.

A scream of rage followed shortly after. Soyo whipped her head and found Takasugi on his knees in an unmistakable howl of anger.

"Sensei!" he cried. Getting up again, he raced to Gintoki and shook the boy. "What happened?"

"They burned... everything..."

"I can see that," Takasugi said, swearing foul words as he took out a sharp dagger to untie Gintoki's ropes. "What happened to Sensei?"

"Gone. They took him away..."

"Why didn't you stop them?" Takasugi yelled, and dropped his dagger. "You - you - !"

"Stop it, Shinsuke!" An older Katsura held him back. "He tried to stop them, didn't you Gintoki?"

The white-haired boy couldn't even answer, his eyes still in shock.

"_You let them take him away_?" Shinsuke roared. "_How could you do this? They've burned everything! Let GO of me, Zura!_"

He shook free of the other boy and punched Gintoki in the cheek.

"Shinsuke! Stop that! We mustn't be fighting at a time like this! We'll need to put out the fire."

Takasugi laughed darkly. "Zura, you're thinking about practical matters at a time like this? They're going to kill Shoyou-sensei and you don't give a damn. Figures, from such a traitor like you - "

"I do care!" Katsura argued. "I don't burn bridges, that's the only difference between you and me." He picked up the dagger and finished hacking away the ropes that bound Gintoki together.

"Thanks, Zura," the boy said, rubbing his wrists together.

"Where the hell did they take him, Gintoki?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he finally said, averting his eyes from Takasugi's. "But you know why they did it - "

"Yes, and he had every goddamn right to teach it!" Takasugi snarled. "Don't you dare insinuate that they were RIGHT for taking him away!"

"I never said - " Gintoki began, and stopped at his friend's expression. "Maybe your father would know where they took him," he said, very softly.

"Never." Takasugi replied curtly, and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Katsura asked.

"I'm going to find him," he said.

A small drizzle began, before the sky opened up and started to pour its tears as if it mourned the loss of the school. Soyo followed Takasugi into the forest before he stopped abruptly.

"Sensei, wait for me," he whispered into the trees. "I will save you."

* * *

**xvii.**

"They've taken him to Edo, but at least he's alive," Takasugi said flatly. He had bags under his eyes and his clothes had looked worse for the wear. Nobody asked him where he'd been, but Gintoki had a suspicion that he'd spent all night knocking on doors to the politicians that resided in the countryside.

"How do you know this?" Katsura enquired.

He threw down a newspaper. Katsura picked it up, scanning the contents. "Oh no... this is a mistake. This can't be true."

"It's not a mistake. They're going to purge the rest of Hagi for what it's worth - burn down schools, destroy our crops, houses, take the children hostage. All because of Shoyou-sensei."

"Shoyou-sensei was under house arrest!" Katsura interrupted. "Surely we could negotiate his release."

Gintoki had been quietly observing the exchange between two of his oldest friends. "Zura, don't be so optimistic. The Amanto took him away and they're bloody well going to take over this country if they can't help it."

"I'm sure the Bakufu will oppose it. Choshu won't stand for this."

"We need to join the Jouishishi," Takasugi said. A steely determination took the other two by surprise. Gintoki nodded, while Katsura looked concerned.

"I - I suppose we should enable his teachings," Katsura said slowly. "He did promise Gintoki he'd come back."

"All the better when he comes back alive," Takasugi said. A savage-like joy had risen up in him like a lightning bolt.

* * *

**xviii.**

"You'd better get up on a higher plane," The Regulator said, taking Soyo's hand and lifting her up on the air.

The girl marveled at her ability. "We're standing in the sky! Solid air! How can you do this?"

Her companion only chuckled very softly. "You amuse me, Princess." She opened an umbrella. "I think we're at war, so it's best to cover our head from the bullets."

It seemed to be on the edge of ending. There were only a few Amanto left who were quickly pursued by a group of samurai. Soyo peered over curiously, asking the Regulator to go a bit closer.

The Amanto seemed to be reptilian in feature, speaking a harsh guttural language as they relayed commands. They split directions, leading the samurai to pursue them individually. From the sky Soyo could very clearly make out the brilliance of Gintoki's white uniform, even though it had been stained with blood. He moved with a fluidity that combined efficiency and deadly force to great effectiveness. Within a few seconds he had slain the alien with no problem whatsoever, running to his comrades as they struggled to conquer the hulking beasts.

"Die and leave this country!" he roared, striking his sword against another's. "This nation is not yours to conquer!"

Takasugi had been fighting with a particularly ferocious breed of Amanto until he was thrown back by the tremendous force of the monster's shield.

The alien laughed at his futile blows. "You think you can win?" it asked. "You samurai are pathetic."

With a spiteful gesture, he threw Takasugi a lumpy package, packed carelessly with old blood crusting through the white linen. To Soyo's horror, she could see the platinum blond hair spilling out from within, belonging to Shoyou-sensei. His head fell to the ground, still intact. He couldn't have been decapitated for more than a day.

She fell to her knees and so did Takasugi. "No..."

"Die, you monster," Katsura shrieked, lopping off the alien's head, effectively ending its life. Then he saw his teacher's head.

Dropping his sword he turned away and vomited. Gintoki was staring at it like he couldn't believe it.

The battlefield was dead silent - it was the three of them alone once more while they stood in a sea of corpses. The smell of blood and decay was overwhelming.

For a while Soyo couldn't see the expression of Takasugi. _What was he thinking_? she thought to herself. Without a word the Regulator lowered her to the ground for which Soyo was grateful. Still, his hair hung low over his eyes, obscuring his face.

Silently he pulled himself up from the ground, and carefully placed Shoyou's head on the middle of the linen, making sure to wipe away the dirt that had graced the lifeless physiognomy of the man who meant so much to him.

"Takasugi..."

"Gintoki, tend to Zura, why don't you?" His voice seemed detached, aimless.

"But - "

"**_JUST DO IT, OKAY_**?" Suddenly he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. "Sensei, what did those fools do to you? They have taken away all the beauty in this world."

And, not caring one whit for his comrades, he howled his outrage for the world to hear. That was before Gintoki knocked him out with one decisive blow. Keeling over, Takasugi fell over, dead silent.

Katsura wiped his mouth. "The pain will be worse when he wakes up." Tears flowed from his eyes freely, though Gintoki pretended not to see them. "You know how much devotion he held towards Sensei."

"I know."

"If only we had enough time to walk to Hagi. He deserves to be buried next to the school."

"I know. We'll have to bury him around here before it rots."

Gintoki began to drag Takasugi's body back to camp, while Katsura folded the bundle tenderly with care, now weeping openly without any notion of samurai restraint.

There were no more words exchanged between them as the sun set. The sky was as red as the blood that stained their clothing. The crows came again to feast on the dead.

-x-

* * *

To be continued...

Please review. _I update better when I read well thought-out reviews._ :)


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